Weee!

I know it has been official for a while now, but getting your diploma in the mail is still fun!



Matthew

Letters...

Today is my USPS day. I am sending out a bunch of letters (don't worry, if you are reading this, you will probably get one). Next is getting my graduation announcements out! My hand is tired from writing on so many envelopes!

Matthew

Riddle Me This...

Why is it that at 5 AM I am more awake than I was 12 hours ago at 5 PM? Why, with less than two hours until my alarm clock goes off, does my body still refuse to sleep? Why does my body hate itself so much that it will starve itself of sleep just to be tired when I want to be awake in a few hours?

The sad part is: I get so angry thinking about it that it just wakes me up more (enough that I get up and blog about it).

*sigh* Back to fighting the impossible and most furious problem I have faced in my life.

BTW: If you are ever not able to go to sleep, I recommend that you watch this video. It won't help you get to sleep, but it is still fun to watch.

Matthew

Here we go again...

As I am sure most of you know, a few months ago I came out of the closet and publicly admitted that I had an addiction to pornography. I thought that it was about time that I offer an update on this subject.

One of my personal reasons for coming out was that it was getting harder to keep my promise to God. By admitting my addiction (as I have started to call it) I hoped to relieve some of these desires. I am glad to say that it has been easier to cope with my personal desires and lusts in the last few months... and on that note, I am going to change the subject.

I received an outpouring of support and help from those around me on this subject. Also, two people have come to me and said that they have followed the same path as I have. It is great to know that I am not the only Christian out there struggling with this issue. Of course, I could assume that there are others out there, but to have someone who is close that I can talk to helps greatly in overcoming my addiction.

And I do mean my addiction: Lusting (AKA: Pornography) is truly an addiction. Once you start, you just can't stop. It starts with small innocent things, then grows as each new thing becomes not enough. And once you do decide to kick the habit, it never really goes away. Just like they teach you in AA (or so I'm told): you will never recover from being an alcoholic; you will be a "recovering alcoholic" for the rest of your life. If at any point in your life you slip, you will fall all the way back to the bottom.

In e-mailing someone who has the same problem, I wrote this:
"You say that I "looked it in the eyes, grabbed it by the throat and strangled the life out of your selfishness." I don't see it that way. I see it as I cut the head off of the hydra, and more heads just keep coming back. I don't say this to discourage you, I say this to strengthen you, that you may once and for all flip that bit in your brain from "ehh, I am not doing it right now for God" to "I will never do it again, no matter how much it hurts." I am not trying to be all preachy about it, but I know that personally I had to make that decision before any healing was to happen."

On to story time (shouldn't all blog posts have a good story time?):
I was at the last LifeGroup (college small group) of last year (early December). We were given one of those cheesy sheets that says "Fill out this form describing how you were before you were a Christian," and you are supposed to compare it today now that you are a Christian, and get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. However, I have never considered myself not a Christian. I mean, I grew up in a Christian home and always went to church/Sunday School. In fact, there is not a distinct time in my life when I asked Jesus into my heart. I mean, I have (and still do), but there wasn't a "defining moment" that I would call my testimony. In fact, our LifeGroup would usually open up with two people telling their testimony to everyone, and I had explained to everyone that I really don't have a testimony, I have just always been a Christian.

But I digress (or was I digressing already? Am I now digressing from my digression?)...

But I digress from my digression of digressinisation (yes, that is a real word that I just made up). That night I was supposed to fill out the sheet on when I wasn't a Christian, but I never really had that problem. So I decided to fill out the form pointing to the time during which I was addicted to porn. I wrote about how I was separated from God and how alone I was. After everyone was done, we were paired up to discuss the sheet. I was paired up with Billy Joe Bobby III Jr. Jimbo Earl Otis Jeeves (he goes by Bob) (some names have been changed to protect the innocent). Because I had yet to come out and personally admit my addiction to anyone (I had admitted it online and only talked to people who knew about it), I at first discussed the sheet with Bob without saying anything about my addiction, I just talked about what the sheet said. But Bob always asks questions (he is never satisfied with an "OK" when he asks how you are feeling), so he dug deeper. I admitted to him that I was once addicted to porn, and that the sheet was about that time period. His first question/comment was "So why didn't you include that in your testimonial?"

I Instantly knew what he was talking about. He was saying: "A few months ago when you explained to everyone your testimonial, why didn't you include your porn story?" And he was right, I should have (I had thought about it, but had decided not to, even though I had already admitted it via my blog).

Afterwards, I was thinking: Overcoming my addiction really is a part of my testimonial. Even if I am still embarrassed to admit it, it is an important part of my spiritual growth. Some nights I feel like God is calling me to minister to others who have/had a similar problem. That God could use a horrible time in my life for ministry is amazing. The song "Moses" by "The W's" comes to mind: "Every once and a while I start to contemplate how a person like me could be used by the great God. Then I look at those who lived before me, in their imperfections they showed God's glory." Maybe I will one day show God's glory by using my addiction. Maybe I already have.

Anywho, it is late, and I must go. I started writing this post more than two weeks ago and am now just finishing it. Hopefully this shows some (but not too much) insight into my life right now.

Matthew

BTW...

Proof that my new internet is faster...

Old internet last night:


New internet tonight:


New internet via a different site (I like this site better, but it wouldn't even load via the old internet)


Anywho, back to pretending to go to sleep...

Matthew

Time Machine to the rescue!

So I got new internet today! Yea, it works!

For a while I was having problems with my e-mail... I could not check for new messages. So after calling tech support (both Sara and Charter), it still wasn't fixed. So I tried something for myself...

I tried making a new account to get the mail, but it wouldn't let me because I was already using that address for an account (IE: the one that wasn't working). So I went in and changed my old account information, then created the new account. The new account worked fine. So I deleted it and changed the old account to match the default information of the new account, and it worked! Yea, e-mail problem solved!

Or so I thought. I thought that I had a meeting tomorrow, so I went into my e-mail to see what time it was, and... the message was blank. In fact, all of the messages in my account were blank! Apparently, in changing my settings, it deleted all of the messages (or something).

At first, I thought all was lost, then I remembered one of the features of the Leopard: Time Machine. I activated Time Machine, went back to when I still had the information, then hit the "Restore" button. Like magic, in 30 seconds (from the time I activated Time Machine) all of my messages were back! Yea!

Time Machine: 1
Corrupt Files: 0

Matthew

Stupid internet 2...

So, I told you that I was fed up with my internet. Well, today, I ordered new service.

I went with Charter. It is $40 a month for internet and basic cable (I am getting cable free right now, but I am sure that once the Charter guy comes to install my internet, he will notice that I am getting free cable and cut it off, so I am paying an extra $10 a month for something that I have been getting free for 8 months).

Anywho, it is not a 1 year contract like I thought, they just guarantee the cheep price for a year, I can cancel at any time. And somehow I got $10 knocked off of the installation charge. Sweet.

The bad part: I have already paid for my current service until the middle of next month, IE: three more weeks. But right now, it is worth the extra money to GET INTERNET THAT WORKS!!!!

Matthew

Pretty darn creepy...

OK, here is my creepy collection of links...
NASA Photo Shows Humanoid Figure on Mars OK, I know it isn't "real," but the photo is so creepy! I agree that it is Bin Ladden.
(Full rez version, figure is on far left about 2/3 way down)



That is all for now...

Matthew

The Key!

"l;hs;ldfhasodifhjas;dfhjasldkfha;soefrw098yuhrohiawljkrliuwhbnslkjdgh9isdfy8ushifsdfkjsd"

There it is. The IM tht will go down in history.

See, I ws hving n intelligent converstion with my brother, when I typed the line:
l;hs;ldfhasodifhjas;dfhjasldkfha;soefrw098yuhrohiawljkrliuwhbnslkjdgh9isdfy8ushifsdfkjsd

Not thinking nything of it. Until I went on with the converstion. Something ws missing. Something importnt. Something tht would mke life very hrd to live without if I didn't hve it.

Tht's right, it is the key. Oh, wit, I cn't type it. I think you get the picture.

On nother subject, I hd decided to not get new mouse nd insted use n older but still working mouse tht I hd. Y, this one sucks. When clicking nd drgging, it will sometimes loose the "hold" tht it hd of the object mid wy though... relly nnoying. So I think I will get new keybord/mouse combo.

Wish me luck!

Mtthew

Rhetorical question...

Question: What happens when you defrost your freezer then forget to turn it back on?

Answer: Everything melts.

Matthew

"And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..."

Another quote from Orson Scott Card's "Sarah, Women of Genesis":

"Love is finding that the things you like best about yourself are not in you at all, but in the person who completes you."

Hurley Disclaimer: I am not saying that I agree with the quote 100%, I am just saying that it is a great quote. Orson Scott Card's books usually have 3 or 4 quotes in them that, while they appear in context in the book, can be taken out of context and made into great quotes.

Matthew

Feeling better...

Well, I woke up this morning, and even after not eating anything except a bag of popcorn for 24 hours, I wasn't that hungry, but I FORCED myself to eat anyway. I also wanted some kind of juice, but all I had was milk and water, so the solution: oranges! I found a few oranges in my frig and that helped, as well as the frozen pizza.

When I woke up, I still felt very sick, but by now, I am feeling much better. Maybe I will get some work done today? (or maybe not) The only problem is that my nose won't stop ITCHING!!!!!

BTW, the MacWorld Keynote Speech is going on right now, and like usual, I am going with the spoiler-free option (until I can watch the streaming version of the keynote). So please don't call me and tell me about the new Mac product that they just announced, and don't e-mail me about these things... I will find out later tonight when I watch it online.

Matthew

Bad feeling...

You know that feeling that you get when you've been using dishes out of the dishwasher all week but you just found out that they weren't clean?

Hmm, maybe that is why I have felt sick all day long. Or is it that I have only had a bag of popcorn to eat in the last 12 hours...

Matthew

Stupid internet...

So my internet is slow. I mean real slow. Slow enough that I can't play an 8 year old online game.

So I want to upgrade (IE: change service). We have the new Verizon FIOS in our area, so I went there first. They have a great deal on internet (first month free, $35 for months 2-7, no installation charge). Which is great, until you get to the LAST page where it says "with 1 year agreement." Hmm. They forgot to mention that before. And because I don't know where I will be a year from now, that won't work for me.

So I look at their month-to-month rates. $55 a month... too expensive for my blood, then I see the installation charge: $80! That's right! $80 for a guy to come to my apartment and run a wire through the wall. What a rip-off!

So on to Charter (what I have used before). For their internet, they don't tell you how fast it is, but they do say "up to six times as fast as 1.5Mbps DSL." So up to 9 Mbps. A good speed, but if they aren't going to TELL me that, I don't know if I should trust it. It is $35 a month. Oh, and they want to charge me $50 for "installation," IE: come to my place and acknowledge that THE FREAKEN CABLE IS ALREADY RUN!

Oh, and explain this to me. Their basic internet package ("Internet", $19.99/month) says "Get the fastest and most reliable speeds." But they have an "Internet Pro" package for $34.99 a month. If you get the "fastest speeds" on their lower end product, then why would you upgrade? (Answer: because they are using fluff words to make something that is OK sound like the BEST DEAL EVER!!!!!! Sound familiar, Jimmy?)

Arg, all of this is giving me a headache. With all of the activation charges, setup fees, installation this-or-that, then you have to rent a box from them... That is the reason that I liked my current internet when I first signed up: It is $25 a month, no strings attached, no contract, and they had a clearly stated $10 activation charge. No fuss, no hidden fees. The one downfall is that for one week during every other month someone on my connection uses some downloading software that brings my internet to a crawl.

*sigh* I am just depressed because the Cowboys lost (they haven't won a play off game in 12 years). Off to play broomball!

EDIT: OK, I don't feel like driving 30 minutes each way to broomball, so I am going to crash here for the night. I hope that my allergies will go away long enough for me to get some sleep tonight.

EDIT 2: See? Sucky internet!



In reality I don't get even that.

Matthew

Microsoft Monopoly

Thanks Macenstein.

Matthew

$3,014,170,389,176,410

Ya, this is a bit overboard.

Katrina Victims Hit Feds With 489,000 Claims, Including One for $3 Quadrillion

A whopping $3,014,170,389,176,410 is the dollar figure so far sought from some of the largest claims filed against the federal government over damage from the failure of levees and flood walls following the Aug. 29, 2005, hurricane.

Of roughly 489,000 total claims, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers said it has received 247 for at least $1 billion apiece, including the one for $3 quadrillion.

For the sake of perspective: A mere $1 quadrillion would dwarf the U.S. gross domestic product, which Scott said was $13.2 trillion in 2007. A stack of one quadrillion pennies would reach Saturn.

Matthew

long days

Sorry guys, I have been meaning to get back to blogging, but I haven't had the chance.

I have been working 12-14 hour days (with no pay) and have been very busy. There are only a few days left in shooting, so hopefully I will soon be back to my normal self again.

In the meantime, I am working on another blog post, but I don't know if it will come out anytime soon... it is one of those that I need to choose the right words for. I mean, I kinda know what I want to say, but to get my thoughts into print has always been hard for me. Anywho, ttyl.

Matthew

Quotes...

I just started the book "Sarah" of the series "Women of Genesis" by Orson Scott Card. I already have two great quotes:
"Old lies are passed along, not by new liars, but by new fools." page 22
"I trust in God, not to save me from death, but to save my soul when I die." page 25

Matthew

...long day...

...want to blog...

...too tired...

...must sleep...

Matthew

Oh, and...

I just read Orson Scott Card's Blog, and he is as insightful as ever! While I don't agree with everything that he says in his post, I agree with the conclusion.

Link. The good stuff starts a few paragraphs down, past the star (and on 'till morning?), starting with "So now we're heading to another New Year."

Matthew

Driver to the... wha?

First, I have to say that I did not make this up. This is actually true.

I got our call sheet today (the sheet of paper that tells people when to be on set the next day), and I flipped it over to the back where everyone working is listed. This is what I saw:



Don't see it? Let me help.



Still don't see it? This might bring it out a bit:



Yup. As of right now, my official title is "Driver to the Star." And I had nothing to do with it! (PS: I changed others' last names to protect the innocent, whatever that means)

In off topic news: Check out the guy that creates amazing pieces of art in Photoshop 3. No, I didn't say CS3, I said PS 3.0! Includes videos and other cool stuff.

Link

Matthew

Today!

Today was a fun day!

I was on a film set! No, not a student film, not even a video shoot.

Fred Watkins, one of my professors, is the director of a low-budget film called "Suitable for Murder." The main actor is played by Jackson Bostwick, most known for playing Captain Marvel in Shazam! in the mid 70's. The movie is about some college kids who go around killing people, or something. I really don't know. Oh, and there is a bloody pigs head.

Anywho, the first interesting thing is that I am Jackson's chauffeur. IE: I drive him to and from the set in Rhonda (my truck, for those of you that have a short memory). It is interesting to be driving around a "big star." Actually, he is a cool guy, and we talk while driving, everything from his experiences as an actor to religion.

The second interesting thing is what we shot today: Jackson. Not only did we film Jackson today, but he got shot, three times in the chest. His co-actress was also shot, and one of the bad guys was shot in the leg. It was pretty cool to be on set with guns firing blanks, squibs going off everywhere, and Jackson falling into the pool when it was 40 degrees outside. All this on my first day on the set!

Oh, and for those people out there that hate Apple: link

Matthew

Pics are up!

Here is a preliminary site for all of the pics that I took with my cell phone camera while in Hawaii.

Warning: there is exactly ONE bad picture of Sara in here, so WATCH OUT!!
(OK, one and a half, but that is still close to one)!

Link

Matthew

Honey, I'm home!

It is so nice coming back home when you took extra time before you went on the week long trip to clean your house, wash the dishes, take out all of the garbage, and even vacuum the floor... it is so worth it when you get back!

Matthew